What kind of questions do you ask a narcissist in child custody cases? Have you been asked these types of questions? How do you handle these types of questions in the court room?
Some of the people I talk to are asking me to advise them on what kind of questions to ask a narcissist in child custody cases. What they mean is “What do I say when he or she gets angry?” Here’s what I would say.
The narcissist can take any answer and twist it to suit his or her own needs. So, as a parent, you can respond with an outright denial. It won’t have any effect on your child. The narcissist has no interest in helping you.
You need to tell your story in a very neutral voice and let the narcissist has a negative reaction. That will cause him or her to become defensive. In the meantime, you’re showing that you understand their needs, however selfish they may be.
Set up a time to meet with your child for some ‘time out’. You don’t want to try to get an answer, because you know that won’t help. Rather, you want to allow your child to think things through and realize that it is not your fault.
You want to show your child that you’re in control. If you’re never in control, then the narcissist has to feel like he or she is always at the mercy of your child. They’ll also find it very difficult to control their actions. All ofthis will give your child the impression that you are the boss.
You should set up a control room with secure locks and door locks. You can also arrange for your narcissist to spend only fifteen minutes per day with your child. This will help the narcissist feel like they are still the main person in the relationship.
Don’t call the narcissist at all until after you’ve had a chance to speak with your child. Be prepared to counter their bad behaviour with positive actions. Give them an excuse, a reason for not wanting to see your child, even if they make it clear that it’s for their own good. You’re doing this to protect your child, so don’t let yourself be pressured into answering.
You want to keep the narcissist guessing. They have to wonder whether you’re going to sabotage your own interests to give them the impression that you are uninterested in them. Give them lots of opportunities to let you know that they really do care. Never say that you aren’t interested in seeing your child – just tell them that you are looking forward to seeing them later.
Always discuss with your narcissist what your plans are for your child. You can’t hurt your child’s feelings by putting them at risk by not keeping them informed. If your narcissist says they want to see your child, make sure you tell them as much.
As parents, we should always be cautious about what kinds of questions we ask in child custody cases. As parents, we must be proactive in dealing with the narcissist and helping our children. Never be passive or ignore the narcissist; you’ll only alienate your child.